New Year's memories

Well, when you were born just after the end of World War II, the year 2010 seems pretty darn futuristic. There was a time when even the 1980s seemed a long way off. I can say that I read Orwell's 1984 when it did feel far enough away that it might as well have been titled 2084. But the years pass, and the Contentious One keeps chugging along, just waiting for his first big health crisis--which vital organ will grow the tumor? Ah, the joys of getting older.

Of all the days in the year, perhaps New Year's Eve has been the most eventful for me, in many ways. The fact that kissing at midnight is part of the New Year's ritual has led to a couple of memorable romances, one of which had a particularly significant impact on the path of my life. And then there was that New Year's Eve somewhere back in the 1970s when I was aggressively hustled and hit on (you can't make this stuff up) by a minister of a gay church from San Francisco, at a party in Mahtomedi. It was on that night that I learned how a woman might feel on the receiving end of untoward and unwelcome advances. The fact is that New Year's Eve, especially when you are young and single, invites a certain sort of debauchery--it is as if we are all in a time warp, willing to throw caution to the wind, in a state of suspended animation combined with a mild dose of inebriation. What happens on New Year's Eve stays on New Year's Eve--it's the calendar's equivalent to Las Vegas.

But now, as I grab my AARP membership card and hope for the Senior Discount at Jiffy Lube or some such place, I have to say that those days of debauchery are pretty much ancient history. You see, time projects both ways: in 1968, the year 2010 seemed like forever, and in 2010, 1968 now feels like a very distant but pleasant dream. Could it all have been THAT long ago?

Christmas blues

I'd like to be able to say that Christmas is the happiest time of year for me, but the simple fact is that it's not. Unfortunately, it involves a perfect storm of several things that together make "the most wonderful time of the year" something quite less:

1. It's dark--the days are short.
2. It's cold--the snow is here and more is on the way.
3. It's overcommercialized--and so I must find a way to please the most important people in my life with various objects, always wondering if they are the right objects.
4. It's expensive--and I'm both poor and cheap.
5. It's illogical--the birth story has never made any sense to me. (Virgin mother indeed!) And it brings out some of the most nonsensical beliefs I have ever encountered.
6. It's a focal point for every family issue and old squabble. And it reminds many of better times and lost loved ones.
7. It's bound to be disappointing--because expectations are so darn high.

When Christmas is over, I invariably heave a big sigh of relief. No more trudging through crowded malls! No more 24/7 Christmas music on a couple of my normal radio stations! No more worry about "doing it wrong"! And no more reminders of how our lives fall short of the ideal. It's not that I'm a depressed person by nature--indeed, most of my water glasses at home are half-full. But Christmas is like a stress test on an icy treadmill. I'd rather take a leisurely walk around the lake on a warm spring afternoon.

President Sarah Palin?

Today marked the tumultuous return of "Governor" Sarah Palin to Minnesota. At the Mall of America, she was greeted by throngs of devotees, all waiting in line for many, many hours to have her sign (no more than two) copies of her (ghostwritten) book, Going Rogue.

Let's start with the predictable disclaimers. Sarah Palin is a narrow-minded demagogue. She's about as deep as the Los Angeles River, and has about as much gravitas as an ostrich feather. Having said that, I must grit my teeth and say something that is anathema to liberals: Sarah Palin could indeed become our next President.

Heretofore, we have determined that Ms. Palin is simply too inexperienced and too much of an idiot to be elected to higher office. A colleague of mine at work would be pleased if Palin were nominated in 2012, for that very reason--i.e., in his mind, she simply doesn't have enough broad appeal from people with brains to be elected, so let the Republicans nominate her! But I had to remind my friend of one thing: this is America in the 21st century.

In this modern/postmodern age of media celebrities, Sarah Palin fits in pretty nicely. Many people like her, and many others simply adore her. She's down to earth and she makes sense, in their view--and she's not too bad on the eyes, either. In 2009, that's about all you need. There's a reason why both Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger were elected to be governors--they weren't "typical politicians" and people liked their style. We live in a Cult of Personality, and darn it, Sarah's got that in spades.

So, let's hope the Obama Presidency is reasonably successful. If it isn't, look out! Persistent economic problems and a losing effort in Afghanistan could propel people to once again look for "change." And if you think Sarah is unqualified, just give her a couple of years. In our media-saturated culture, exposure = credibility. Palin was regarded as unqualified because nobody had ever heard of her. But give her a couple of years on newscasts, talk shows, and magazines, and a little grooming from a few advisors, and voila!--suddenly she is way more legitimate than before.

Gosh but it pains me to say all this! I pray to all Higher Powers that I am dead wrong.