Fortunately, I have a lot of hair, because I've been pulling it out in clumps as I ponder the announced candidacy of Michele Bachmann and the potential candidacy of Sarah Palin for the highest office in the land. PRESIDENT Bachmann? PRESIDENT Palin? The whole idea makes Governor Ventura and Governor Schwarzenegger seem almost sane and normal.
To me, one's view of Bachmann and Palin constitutes a reliable intelligence test: If you think these two babes are smart and capable, you're an idiot. Line up all their strange quotations and bizarre notions about the world and you have a set of beliefs that is ignorant, simplistic, narrow-minded, and just plain scary. Their views on religion and homosexuality alone are enough to disqualify them from any executive position. They are, in the end, demagogues in skirts.
But, strangely enough, it is the "skirt" part that seems to work for them. Maybe our standards and expectations in politics are not as high in this regard, but I always have to grudgingly admit that Bachmann and Palin are attractive. Yes, their ideas can diminish that attractiveness a bit, but as a guy, I can say that they are easy on the eyes. Since the first telegenic Presidency--John F. Kennedy's--we have become increasingly susceptible to mere images in politics. And images now really matter. At more than 300 pounds, William Howard Taft could not be elected President in 2012. And at considerably less than 300 pounds, Dennis Kucinich looks sufficiently odd and dorky that he doesn't have a chance as long as there are electronic screens.
The whole thing doesn't say much for us these days. We're not too far from choosing the high school homecoming queen. Michele and Sarah are like a 17-year-old Buffy, or Muffin, or Midge: cute, perky, energetic, and vacuous--with a lot of school spirit. Don't you just love your freedom? Go USA!
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